Tens of thousands of children and young people are caring for someone in their family and many are doing it completely alone.

Who is a young carer?

If you think that young carers are young people who get paid to care for someone, then think again. Young carers are young people under the age of 18 who are caring for a family member who has a disability, illness or other problem. Often, young carers care for parents, but sometimes they may care for brothers or sisters or another relative who may live in their home.

Figures from the 2001 census highlighted that there were 175,000 young people in the UK who were caring for someone in their family. An astonishing 13,000 young carers were caring for 50 hours a week – which is more time than someone would spend at school in a week, and more time than an adult spends at work. Some young carers are providing care completely by themselves, with no other family member or friend to help them.

What young carers do

The caring that young carers provide can involve lots of physical care such as:

Getting a family member washed and dressed in the morning

Helping them to go to the toilet in the night

Giving the sick person their medication

Looking after younger brothers and sisters by taking them to and from school and helping them with their homework

Doing the cooking, cleaning, shopping and even paying the bills

Emotional support

Some young carers also provide emotional support which can take up a lot of time. Although a young carer who provides emotional support may not do the cooking or shopping, they often stay in to keep an eye on the person they care for or help to cheer them up if they have had a bad day.

Juggling school

Being a young carer can have many effects on a young person’s life. They may get really upset at school because they are worrying about the person they care for. They may also be really tired or stressed out because they have been up in the night helping. Teachers might think that they are lazy because they don’t get their schoolwork done on time but usually it’s because when they get home from school, they have so much to do, there isn’t time to concentrate on homework. They probably don’t have time to hang out with mates after school as they have to rush home to check on the person they care for and sometimes they might miss school because the person they care for is really sick and they can’t leave them alone.

Let your teacher know that you are a young carer and tell them that you need some extra help sometimes, or just someone to talk to.

Be a supportive friend

Young people who are young carers may not always tell their friends or school mates that they are a young carer because they don’t want to be seen as different. The best advice for anyone who thinks that they might know a young carer in their class or group of friends is to let them know that you know about young carers and the difficulties they face. Make sure they know about a great website that helps young carers, www.youngcarers.net, and most importantly talk to them about how they are feeling. That way, they will really know that they are not alone.

Kelly’s story

Being a young carer myself, I can understand that life can be really tough.

I’ve been caring for my mum since I was ten years old. She has scoliosis and arthritis which means that she’s in pain most of the time and she has trouble walking and moving around. I help get her in and out of bed, dressed and make sure she takes her medication. I also cook, shop and clean and help look after my younger brother.

I love my mum but I struggle to cope with the responsibility of having to grow up quicker and not having the freedom like most other children. I feel stressed at home caring for my mum and at school worrying if she is okay. I sometimes miss out on seeing friends after school, feel distant from them and I’m not able to concentrate properly at school. Sometimes I see other kids hanging out and want to feel happy like them and not be in a child’s body with an adult’s head.

There is help out there. I have a supportive teacher who I can speak to who knows about my mum. I also visit Carers Bromley, a young carers’ service, where there are support workers who listen to my thoughts, feelings and problems. I also get to meet other young carers who are experiencing the same things as me. My mum also has a care worker who visits twice a week so I am able to go out for a few hours with friends and not worry about how my mum is because I know someone is with her.

If you are caring for a family member who is sick or disabled, remember that you are strong no matter what and don’t let anyone tell you differently, your family are proud of you and that’s all that counts. You can go far in whatever you choose to do. Remember, don’t let life rule you, you rule your life.