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Thursday, 5 May 2011




The Outside World...

By chocdragon (Age 12)

This is my poem 'The Outside World'.

Don't they ever get a break?

Tired and hungry,

Alone.

We should think ourselves lucky,

That we are not them,

And spare a thought this Christmas,

For the people living in poverty.





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6 Comments


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  • gecko1 (Age 12) wrote on Monday, 13 December 2010 @ 11:44

    Did you write this? It is very good!!!!!

  • superspy10 (Age 11) wrote on Monday, 13 December 2010 @ 17:19

    :)

  • laurcool (Age 12) wrote on Monday, 13 December 2010 @ 18:25

    I like it! What I great meassage! I have one piece of advice though...Have you ever heard of Write about what you know or Write about what you have experienced? I know I am being a bit critical but I wouldn't write (even if it was a short poem) about something like that, no offense. Not in the exact way you put it. Again I do not want to offend you, just advice. I like the title too but when I saw it I thought it'd be about an imaginary world or being an outsider! Again, no offense!:)

  • chocdragon (Age 12) wrote on Sunday, 19 December 2010 @ 13:23

    Don't worry laurcool, you don't offend me! Thanks for the advice!

  • chocdragon (Age 12) wrote on Monday, 18 April 2011 @ 12:24

    gecko1: Yes I wrote it all by my little self! (I'm not little, btw...)

  • amberlily (Age 12) wrote on Saturday, 7 May 2011 @ 17:53

    cool! :)